i just thught we were meant to be..that's it

sorry if i expected too much..

sorry if i over-reacted..,

sorry if i misled myself from not falling for you deeply..,

sorry for all those nonsense things i did just to make you notice me, and worse,for you to love me too..,
duh..im just a girl..,im just a human created by God who felt those not-to-be-felt "emotions" towards you..

hmm,..,am i getting ultrasappy??
most probably yes, because im an actress,,..,an actress of my own self..,actress of my own foolishness..,

i acted.., i pretend,,..,yes..,because doing such things do makes me happy..,makes me live..,so,you'll blame me for this, right?

okay.., i welcome all those blames..,all those tears..,all those pains..,as consequences of not thinking before i did all those stupid stuffs..,of not considering your feelings..,of not considering the fact that i was just assuming..,i was just dreaming..dreaming of the most impossible thing to happen..dream..yes..,that's all i can do to assume..,to pretend..,to think and to feel that your'e mine..,if you would be mine,..,how i wish you'd be mine..mine forever..,but you can't be mine..and that's the reality..you can never be mine..,i knew it..i knew it..that's why i should move on..,i should forget all those dreams..,all those wishes.., all those hopes,..,because im hurting..im hurting a lot..yes..,it hurts me a lot seeing you with another girl..,knowing that you're happy with her..,so i should stop all this stupidity and foolishness..,to prevent myself from hurting myself more and more..,

i need to find my own happiness..,i know.., my own happiness that does not require you or any guy..,my own happiness by just being me..,
my true self..,
my true friend..,
my true me..